It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas….Part 1


Yes indeed, it’s all getting pretty festive here in the midden.

The children have a discovered a new found love of bedtime, helped in part by their not-particularly-Christmassy Spiderman and Thomas the Tank Engine crappy-cheap-chocolate advent calendars (we are a strictly before bedtime door-opening family, none of this new-fangled morning opening for us), and have started eagerly putting their pyjamas on at 6.30pm. Personally, I harbour a deep loathing of chocolate advent calendars, and long for a return to the kitschy, over-glittered, non-chocolate nativity calendars of my childhood. They are, sadly, harder to find these days than rocking horse poo.

(I am going to send my children spiralling into TV Character merchandise withdrawal depression next year by lovingly creating what promises in the guides to be a ‘timeless keepsake that the whole family will cherish’ perpetual advent calendar but which will, in actual fact, look like a few bits of battered plywood covered in glitter and random blobs of mod podge).

True to form, as the start of school and nursery Christmas events sends children everywhere into paroxysms of uncontrollable, pant-wetting excitement; my two are under the weather. Knowing full well that he is to be a Wise Man in the nursery nativity, Captain Calamity decided to funk-up his bed-bouncing dismount on Sunday night resulting in an impressive face-plant and rug slide, and a hideous carpet-burn to the side of his face that even made the doctor look slightly queasy.

As if having to drag The Elephant Boy out in the freezing cold every day so the nurse could check his face wasn’t about to fall off wasn’t enough; the Streptococcus fairy decided to don her Santa hat and pay Ellis’s right ear a visit. Whilst he was at school. I got a phone call at 9.30am yesterday (whilst Fin and I were still in our pyjamas) asking to go and pick up a sobbing boy from school. We were heading up to see the nurse at 11am anyway, so whilst Fin had thirty-six consecutive ‘I no wanna go out in the cold’ tantrums, I tried to get an appointment for Ellis – you know, kill two birds with one stone, yes? Well, no. Nothing until 5pm, when I’d have to drag Elephant Boy and King Grizzle back out in the cold for the twenty minute whiny walk to the surgery.

I’m canny, me. We picked up sobbing boy, and proceeded to the surgery for Fin’s appointment. The surgery was, as I suspected, full of elderly people. No matter how deaf elderly people claim to be, they can hear – and get irritated by – a crying six year old boy from three miles away.

Ellis sobbed pathetically. Fin loudly proclaimed to everyone that hadn’t installed earplugs ‘my bruvva’s got a bugger in his ear’. I plastered on my calmest, most beatific, ‘perfect mother’ smile. You know the one.

We got seen within five minutes. And I’m not even sorry.


4 thoughts on “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas….Part 1

  1. LOL. I feel your pain. And I’m totally with you on the advent calendars. I’ve found trad ones in charity shops (new, that is, you don’t have to re-open other people’s doors). A few years ago, I stupidly bought a Santa truck with hunners of tiny drawers in it, which slide out and spill smarties everywhere if you tilt it, and which are too tiny to fit anything much more than a smartie in. I hate it, but the boys have become sentimentally attached to it. I may have to arrange for it to become involved in a chemical spill fireball on the M6.
    Hope the illnesses subside soon.

  2. Oh, I never thought of charity shops. I walk into them and am immediately sucked towards the beads and the tasteless 1970s coffee sets. I don’t think about charity shops selling anything remotely useful…..

  3. alythmum says:

    At least you don’t end up spending mega ££s from having a child who is not really supposed to have chocolate … makes him hyper++ on top of ADHD …. so has Lego ones instead.
    Hope both boys are improving.

    • legogirl says:

      Our non chocolate ones as a kid are still at my mums somewhere, we have a fabric ones with pockets, with a plastic candy cane to put in to mark each day. If they’ve been good I’ll put a small chocolate in……being the thrifty person that I am, I buy the previous years discounted bags of say chocolate coins, if the best before date is long enough, and use them to put in the pockets now and then. This years for 2 kids cost me 40p 🙂
      They’d love the LEGO ones, but they are expensive, but can see why you would if a chocolate one sends them hyper……..have you ever thought about trying to get hold of them at the end of one year, ready for the next year, when the price is halved? I’ve seen them advertised at the moment for about £10, which is still pricy compared to commercial choc ones, but still cheaper than when full price

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