Fings wot start wiv F, and other reasons for blog-writing tardiness

OK, I’ve procrastinated enough this week. Every day I have sat down with the full intention of writing something only to suffer from an attack of ADOS – ‘Attention Defici…Oooooh, shiny’ and before I have had a chance to drag myself back on course it has been time to retreat to the bedroom with some diabolical reality TV and a bottle of Co-Op’s finest Vino Collapso.

The wonderful, hilarious and annoyingly talented @betamother suggested (via Twitter, because we are dahn wiv deh kidz and all that), with her usual brilliance, that I blog about the five reasons why I have not written my blog this week. OK, she said ten. She’s wordier than I am. And not half so lazy. I have officially ‘misread’ her tweet as five reasons. That’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it. I highly expect this to become a recurrent theme.

(Speaking of themes, this most definitely needs accompaniment, click here for the perfect soundtrack.)

Number 5

Crafting. Yes, you read that right. ‘Crafting’. I’ve gone all Kirstie Allsopp again in an attempt to save a bit of money this Christmas, and have lovingly botched presents for my sister, my mum and my dad. Obviously, I can’t show you pictures of my divine creations as my crafting skills would leave you so jealous of my talents that you’d never read my blog again, and also because I don’t want to shatter their belief in Father Christmas.

Number 4

Panicking about Christmas.

This is self explanatory. I’ve done it every year since I became an adult. It started off as a mild wibble around mid November which was quickly calmed with an afternoon of grabbing random items off shelves in John Lewis. Since having the children, however, the panic starts to rise around the first week of July, at roughly the same time as I realise we’re not going to have a summer again. It means that I have plenty of rainy summer days to browse Amazon and buy gifts in a thoughtful and financially sensible manner. You know, like a rational person. OK, a rational person who is allergic to real shops.

This year, somehow, I woke up in the middle of October and realised that it was no longer July, nor had it been July for quite a few months. A quick check of the bank balance then had me trying to work out how to split £2.73 twelve ways. Believe me, it’s not easy.

See this? This is Dante's seventh circle of Hell.

See this? This is Dante’s seventh circle of Hell.

It’s getting there. I completed a ten minute smash-and-grab for the children last Saturday whilst I tried to block out the terrible knowledge that their dad had taken them to McDonalds (as it was cheaper than Sainsburys cafe, AND THEY GET A TOY). Needs must when the devil drives, and all that.

Number 3

Trying to knock some form of education into Captain Calamity

At least this has been great fun. All things considered, we’ve had an excellent week, despite an intial frustrating setback when I discovered that his speech and language therapy will stop next week (after just five sessions), and he will get added to another list for another block, with a different therapist as his adored Kelly is leaving the clinic. Add to this the fact that his keyworker at nursery is on sick-leave for the foreseeable future and he currently has two part-time temporary keyworkers; and you will see why I have really decided to take things into my own hands as far as some of the things he struggles with are concerned.

We are concentrating primarily on ‘maths’ (which he is great at, but I’m including it as a way of helping him gain confidence), literacy, communication and fine motor skills. This involves copious amounts of plasticine, glue, scrap paper, magazines, board games, flour and patience.

What we did this week.

What we did this week.

This week we have been talking about Winter, and Christmas. We have been on a squirrel-spotting nature walk, trips to the shops on the bus, and to the library. We have baked biscuits and washed up. We have fed, and watched, the birds. We have danced and sung songs. We have done mazes, and dot-to-dots, and counting, and made our family from plasticine. We have collected and stuck things (or photos of things) beginning with F (for Fin, of course) onto cardboard. We have been Gruffalo children, and aliens, and fish in the sea, and dogs, and Dr Finlay and his patient. For a while, my right leg was the door to Fin’s fire engine.

We’ve had fun.

Number 2

Masterchef: The Professionals, and I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.

There is no excuse for this. At all. None whatsoever. But it does give me the perfect excuse to post this.

Number 1

Wine. (Deserved. Really. No…really…)


Find Me @ BritMums


6 thoughts on “Fings wot start wiv F, and other reasons for blog-writing tardiness

  1. alythmum says:

    I know it has already been said but you are doing great with that young’un whose name starts with F and as far as Yule goes family is more important than presents.
    The boys will still be happy with empty paper towel rolls; toilet rolls and boxes along with an old catalogue and some parent time. Much more fun than this year’s ‘in’ toy. xxx

  2. Helen says:

    Great! I was going to say ‘You don’t need reasons’ but this is so entertaining, and reflective of my own life, that I want to rephrase that to ‘Give us more ‘5 reasons’ blog posts!’
    Are you pulling Finnyface out of nursery completely at this time of disruption or just home-schooling him around the nursery sessions?
    Great activities … please please don’t demand any more of him than these wonderful fun activities … the love of learning is the absolute most important factor.

  3. legogirl says:

    I agree with the girlies above. God I hate shops this time of year. avoid them like the plague where I can. Personally I think a homemade gift shows far more thought and consideration to the person in question, than some random panic bought useless item
    As for Captain calamity, with his fab mum by his side he’ll achieve anything he wants in life….can I come and join in his sessions, sounds like a whole lot more fun than what I should be doing between the hrs of 9&3

    • Thank you, everyone! You do say some lovely things. I do hope that my family appreciate my attempts at being arty – I will post some photos up after Christmas. (Probably just as well we won’t be there to see their bemused expressions).
      As for Captain Calamity, we have turned a corner. I am seeing him for who he is, and not who I want him, or expect him to be. I know that, as long as he is happy and confident, he will do well in whatever he decides he would like to do. Not fitting the mould doesn’t have to change that.

  4. Cool post! I love it :)) and thank you for the lovely words about me – for reasons a little too boresome to dwell on I needed that today and it has perked me right up. Cheers babe xx

    OMG girl, Fin is toooooooo cute!!! I don’t know how you keep a straight face around him, his wee face just makes me melt! I’d forgive him anything. And Ellis come to think of it. Congrats on the gorgeous baby making skills – you have excelled yersel!

    LOVING the pic of you in the yellow frock, flanked by scrumptious torags.

    I dared into town on Saturday by day and it was horribly hoaching and really not at all pleasant. When back in at night but it was so cold. In an effort to warm up I had 8 gins, 1 long vodka and a JD and coke. Came home sober. What the hell is that about? Online shopping and IKEA are getting the brunt of my Xmas pennies this year, better access to coffee/hot dogs and Scandi style house porn too 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s